Biopsy Confirms Cancer
You Have 6 – 12; Now What (sigh)?
The results were positive. I still had the cancer. It was lurking there. Waiting? For what? To come back at the least expected time? Maybe it would still go away . . .
We prayed a lot about it, and I continued taking the medicines that I had left from India. But, I fired off an email to the doctor there telling him what was going on. And, as I was nearly out, to order new medicines. When I received them, I could see that he had made some changes.
British Columbia Alpine - Photo by my late father
In the meantime, I continued doing everything else with diet, exercise and supplements that we could think of. I also exposed my body as much as possible to the sun. By then, we had learned that vitamin D is absolutely essential to cancer recovery. I took cod-liver oil, but we felt sun exposure would be helpful, too. Our sixth-floor apartment faced west and the sun poured into the bedroom in the afternoon. I would open the big, sliding window as wide as possible and lie on the bed sideways with my feet on the windowsill. The sun wasn’t very strong, but maybe it helped.
It appears that God, in His mercy and love for me and those praying for me, knew that He should let things continue. Obviously He knows that there are lessons to be learned or reinforced, or some other good that could yet be realized from this situation.
I say this because a couple of months after the scan, the tumor began to grow again. Rapidly.
There was a rush to make another mask and start another 15 sessions of radiation. Three weeks, five days a week. At the end of all that my mouth and lips were a mess.
Monday, June 13, 2005
In the follow up visit the oncologist said that, “We didn’t get it. It will come back.”
“What’s next,” I asked?
“Chemotherapy,” he replied
“Would that get rid of it?”
“No. Just slow it down.”
I elected not to see the chemo guy. Instead, why not have the tumor removed and the hole in the side of my face repaired?
My wife, daughter and I were in to see the surgeon who had removed the original tumor almost a year ago. We wanted him to remove the tumor that was left after the last bout of radiation and rebuild my face.
In his usual blunt manner, he said there was no point. I still have cancer in other places besides that tumor I want removed. That open sore on the other side of my chin is cancer, that swelling under mw jaw on mw throat is cancer, just for starters.
“How do you know,” I asked, “you haven’t done any tests or other biopsies.?”
“Twenty-five years experience as a cancer surgeon tells me that,” he retorted. “Look, I removed lymph nodes that had cancer cells in them. They are spreading throughout your body.”
“Well, the last CT scan . . .,” I began when he interrupted.
“This cancer is going to kill you! Stop wasting your time and money chasing after alternative treatments. Nothing will work. Just relax and spend your remaining time with your family and friends.
I thought for a moment. “How long do I have?”
“About six to twelve months.”
“Will there be much pain?”
“No pain at all. You will just get weaker and weaker and eventually fall asleep into death.”
He then talked for a while in a more compassionate way about spending my remaining time doing what makes me happy.
Finally, I said, “No, I don’t think that’s God’s plan for me. I really appreciate everything you have done for me, but I will be back for you to fix my face.” With that, I stood up, gave him a big hug, and left with my wife and daughter. You should have seen the look on his face!
I think there has to be some frustration on his part. It must be hard to do a technically wonderful operation, have it come out looking great just to have it destroyed by the cancer he was trying to remove. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised that most people working at the Cancer Clinic feel the same way.
Well, all that was about a month ago and I have been doing much thinking as well as thanking God for bringing out of this all the good He can. That prayer I know He has answer!
I think I have mentioned before that it seems obvious that the mind is key to beating any disease. So, I am doing guided imaging and EFT. More on that next section, but know this, dear reader; we who are diseased can be healed if we choose to be! It just may not be in the way we think we want to be.
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